Managing My ADHD: Learning to Regulate My Emotions

Struggling to regulate my emotions is something I’ve dealt with for as long as I can remember. I’ve always felt everything intensely, whether it’s happiness, excitement, anger, or sadness, I experience it all at its highest capacity.

For years, I was misdiagnosed with depression and anxiety, and I was prescribed medications that never seemed to work. It wasn’t until late 2021 that I was finally diagnosed with ADHD. Suddenly, everything made sense! The puzzle pieces of my emotional rollercoaster started to come together. 

Being a woman with ADHD can make the diagnosis more challenging. While boys often display outward hyperactivity, rebellious behavior, and fidgeting as symptoms from a young age, often women find that their symptoms present differently. In school, I struggled with inattention, excessive talking, and a tendency to get distracted easily (earning myself a few too many report cards along the way!). My emotions were big...sometimes too big, and I often found myself reacting impulsively, which carried over into my adult life. 

As an adult, ADHD manifested in other ways: chronic lateness, emotional outbursts, and the inability to finish tasks once I had lost interest in them. Add in bursts of random energy that made me feel almost manic, and it’s easy to see how ADHD shaped my everyday experience.

But the question was, how do I manage all of this now? With the UK experiencing a shortage of ADHD medications, I knew I would have to try and find a way to manage without them. 

Now, I won’t claim to have some magical cure for regulating emotions or completely controlling ADHD. However, through trial and error, I’ve developed strategies that help me manage my emotional ups and downs. Here are some of the things that work for me, and I hope they can help others, too. 

1. Slow Down Through Mindful Breathing 

When emotions hit hard, especially the negative ones, it’s crucial for me to slow my thoughts down and avoid reacting impulsively. For someone whose mind runs at 110 miles per hour, I’ve found meditation to be a game-changer. And don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be the stereotypical sitting-still-for-an-hour type of meditation. For me, even sitting completely still for 20 minutes feels impossible. 

Instead, I take just 5 minutes, a few times a day if possible , to close my eyes, breathe in through my nose, and exhale through my mouth. During this time, I allow my thoughts to flow freely without trying to quiet them. It’s less about eliminating thoughts and more about observing them. This helps me tune into my body and regulate my breathing, creating a sense of calm that I can tap into later when I need it in real-life situations. Using apps like headspace, or listening to Guided Meditation also helps. 

2. The Power of Removing Yourself 

Another tool that has been surprisingly effective, though a bit controversial is simply removing myself from a situation that triggers an emotional response. Now, this doesn’ mean storming out in the middle of a conversation. Instead, it’s about giving myself permission to step away when I feel the bubble of anger, frustration, or overwhelm rising inside me. 

There have been times where, instead of responding to a heated text or argument, I walk away or put my phone down. And while some may see this as rude or dismissive, I’ve learned that removing myself from the immediate issue gives me the space to calm down. Once I’ve had time to breathe, reflect, and regain control of my emotions, I’m better able to respond in a calm, measured way. 

Growing up, I was always the first to react, letting my emotions take over and escalate situations. Now, with patience and practice, I’ve found that stepping back can diffuse both my emotions and the situation itself. Of course, it’s not always easy, and there are times when I can’t control everything perfectly, but that’s okay. I’ve learned to give myself grace and keep practicing. 

This simple technique helps to anchor me in the moment and prevents me from spiraling into emotional overdrive. It’s particularly useful in public spaces where it might not be possible to completely remove myself from a situation. 

3. Movement and Physical Activity 

For me, physical movement is a vital part of managing both my ADHD and my emotions. Currently on my own Weightloss journey and having lost 22kg already, I now realise how important it is to keep your body active. When my body moves, my mind quiets. Whether it’s going for a walk or the gym, dancing, or just shaking off the restless energy, getting active helps me release built-up tension and clears my head. On particularly overwhelming days, a quick burst of exercise, like a brisk walk or a yoga session can help me reset emotionally and mentally. 

4. Embracing Self-Compassion 

Perhaps one of the most important lessons I’ve learned in managing ADHD is the power of self-compassion. There will be days when I can’t reign in my emotions or when my best efforts fall short. And that’s okay. We’re only human, and part of this journey is learning to accept that it’s okay to lose control sometimes. What matters is recognizing progress and continuing to practice patience with ourselves. 

5. Motivation and Overcoming "Laziness" 

One of the hardest challenges I face is balancing motivation with the need for rest. Some days, my energy is low, and I struggle to start tasks while other times, I’m filled with enthusiasm, jumping into new projects with intensity. It’s a constant tug-of-war between feeling lazy and the pressure to stay productive. 

What I’ve learned is that it’s okay to allow myself time to recharge without feeling guilty. Rest is productive, too. Instead of forcing myself to be “on” all the time, I’ve started to embrace small wins. Breaking tasks into smaller, more manageable steps helps me stay motivated without overwhelming myself. For example, if I have a task to complete, I focus on completing one part of it and then move on to the next part, rather than stressing about the entire task, and if I can't complete it, thats fine too, because shit happens! 

I’ve found that rewarding myself after completing even small tasks whether it’s taking a break, listening to my favorite music, or indulging in a treat helps keep my motivation alive. By allowing myself space to rest and recharge, I avoid burnout and ultimately feel more refreshed when it’s time to get back to work. 

Learning to manage my ADHD is an ongoing process. There are still days when I struggle, but through mindfulness, grounding, movement, and balancing rest with productivity, I’ve developed tools that help me regain control. These practices have transformed how I respond to my emotions, and I hope they can offer guidance for others navigating a similar path. 

Untill next time Peeps x